10 Dec Newlyweds and Christmas Cards

I recently received an interesting text message from the mother of one of my former brides. Given it’s the holidays, I thought it would make a great topic to expand on. She wanted to know if there was specific etiquette indicating newlyweds should send Christmas cards to everyone on their wedding guest list or not. And more importantly if the mother of the bride needed to as well. 🙂

There is so much on the newlywed to-do list that adding to it can be daunting, especially around the holidays. I just want to make it very clear though… there is NO must-do etiquette rules anywhere that states newlyweds must send Christmas cards to everyone on their wedding guest list. Hallelujah!

That being said though, sending a card to your entire guest list is certainly a nice gesture… provided you have the extra dough available. Let’s face it stationery (personalized or not) adds up, not to mention the postage and the personal time to handle the task that has to be invested (time is money). Here are some considerations…

Most expensive option ~ send a card to everyone on your wedding list your first Christmas together. The next year cut your list back to those you hold special and can’t imagine not wishing them good cheer.


If you want to be on someone’s card list, be sure you send them a card. But and consider the flip side of the coin and know if they will be pleased to reciprocate… we all know the pull to return the favor when we are pressed.

Tip: check out this blog post from Something Detailed for some fun sayings to include on your cards!

Other options ~ go ahead and cut that guest list way back right away to those nearest and dearest, but make sure you consider the feelings of those you are willing to cut who may be in close contact with your must-send list. No need for any bad mojo during the holidays. That can be awkward at the next holiday party (cue Seinfeld Christmas card episode now).

Also something to keep in mind and some good advise from Manners Mentor

“It’s appropriate to send a card to anyone; however they’re most appropriate for sending greetings and best wishes for those you won’t see in person this holiday season.”

Man, will this cut my list way back! I truly learn some tip or trick everyday.

Here’s some good additional etiquette advise for Christmas cards beyond your newlywed year. Love this whole post from Squirrels Hate Me. Some of the photos are hysterical!

And finally… I HIGHLY recommend you take a minute to read this post from Sheridan French. She provides the correct and only way you should sign your cards. It’s the 411… go on… read it!

“Rule: When using first names, the wife’s name is always first. Read it again… When using first names, THE WIFE’S NAME IS ALWAYS FIRST. NOT. THE. HUSBAND’S. EVER.”

Okay… I LOVE her!

Hope this helps to clear some things up… go forth and spread your good cheer!

Erin + Rob | Wedding at The Stables at Russell Crossroads
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